Looking to Explore Body Language? Here's a list of the perfect books to start out with!

So a lot of people really want to know what they can read in order to learn the basics of Non-Verbal Communication. I am all for that and there are some amazing writers who have contributed both directly and indirectly to the understanding of Body Language. So, here I have included a list of the basics you need to begin your journey.

Before we move on, I want to remind you something that has come to me over the past few years. As someone who learns and applies new waves of thinking and various approaches to my own life, I must state the importance of putting what you know to practice. If you do not begin to apply what you know, you will not make anything out of Body Language or any other skill for that matter; you may be able to talk about it intelligently when the topic comes up, but that is about it. In order to really know and apply the information given to bring out any kind of lasting change, we need to begin to really assimilate what we learnt and make lasting changes to the way we view our world. I do that by constantly going back and forth from various texts and translate what I am experiencing based on what I have read or learnt about.

Phew! I just needed to get that out there, very relieved now. Here we go:

PeopleWatching: The Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language: 

This is the Bible of Body Language. The beauty about Morris’ Approach is that he brings in all his experience as a Zoologist and an Evolutionary Biologist. This approach is reflected in his behavior emphasized approach. The initial section of the book starts out with defining the various types of movements and goes on to speak about various types of gestures and signals. This is a great book to read, to go back to and to just have on your shelf. It is huge, expansive and it seems that this work comes not from Desmond Morris’ need for putting something out there but rather a collection of his enthusiastically noted observations throughout his career. Read it, you’ll see what I mean; there is just so much information there. Only drawback: if you like to know the sources of information through citations like I do, you will be a little disappointed. Although Morris does speak about where he gets his information from at times, this book would not be considered accurate or scientifically viable.

What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins: 

This is a great book. I love reading books written by those whose job involves scrutinizing or exploring body language. Joe Navarro is a former FBI agent and writes about body language from the prism of his varied and voluminous experiences. What’s more awesome is that he keeps himself up to date with all the theory involved as well. So essentially this books is a good mix of perspectives that come from knowing both theory and practice. A very unique section on the body language of the legs is included. The first chapter is great too. Just a great read, very informative, entertaining and fun.

You know what? To start out with, cut out all the other books that you may find. You may find some good books, and if you like them go for it. However, this is ALL you need to start out with. I ran a search of books on Body Language on Amazon.com and Peoplewatching didn’t come up for a few pages. They probably want to promote the new-age Business-Centric books. Nothing wrong with that. My issue is that most of these books come from individuals who may not take a large enough step back to approach an issue. If you don’t believe me, read either of these, and THEN read any of the myriad of books available on the topic.

Happy Reading friends!

Voice.

A while back, on my trip to Rajasthan for my sisters’ wedding, I noticed something about the people there that I hadn’t noticed in any other place I had visited, and it got me thinking. I enjoy learning about culture, and about how behavior is an extension of what cultures reinforce and don’t. The voices of the people from Rajasthan were very different from what I was used to experience every day in Mumbai-Pune and even on my multiple tours to testosterone flooded Punjab.

At first, I thought those beautiful, clear, masculine voices the men adorned was a result of their healthy diet (which leaves the lungs, the basic apparatus for voice, clear and thriving) and the dry weather, which could further effect out Voice-Instruments. However this was not it, because everyone spoke like this. Then something else began to emerge: Higher status individuals usually spoke with louder, untamed voices, whereas low status individuals were more reserved with the loudness in their voice. This happens anywhere: high status individuals are known to speak louder, just think of your boss or your teacher. However, in Rajasthan, where there are large spaces, and ownership is similar, voice is very closely linked with status. Other places may have a larger variety of differentiators, which the locals of Rajasthan may not have access to.

Although people voice plays an integral role in social structure any other place, voices were unusually loud there, with more timber. People spoke to each other in a coarser manner, and what’s more baffling is that nobody seemed to mind it. In fact it seemed that a loud, full voice served as a social barometer, determining whether or not someone fit a certain hierarchy, to say ‘you are not loud enough to give me orders’. It seemed even more unusual for me, since the urban scenario that we live in, it is usually considered rude to speak loudly. This of course has to do with the fact that there are so many of us, and a loud voice may intrude in another’s conversation.

What is very interesting is the various ways human beings show status, and we have come up with quite a few ingenious ways to one-up our fellow man. But one which I recently discovered and thought underrated was how we use voice.

I think it is time for a review, think of all the ‘large figures’ in your life, and think about how they use their voice. How do you use your voice? In which situations would you lower your spoken volume? In which situations is it okay for you to be a little louder? Do you regulate the timber in your voice when speaking in different situations?

©Shivam Nemani

Image courtesy: 
Man singing: http://competitiveresumes.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/voice.jpg

Morgan Freeman meme: http://funnypicturesplus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/morgan-freeman-voice-funny.jpg